The “Duh!” Newspaper Articles

Newspapers are supposed to be a good source of information. Sometimes they’re just stupid.











Newspapers are supposed to be a good source of information. Sometimes they’re just stupid.










Police in Tochigi Prefecture, Japan, said a woman was arrested for allegedly hitting a pedestrian and driving home with the victim trapped in her windshield.
The Mainichi Daily News said Monday that vocational school student Michiko Sato is accused of hitting elderly pedestrian Shige Ami with her car early Sunday morning in Utsunomiya, Japan.
After the accident, Sato allegedly drove a little more than 4.3 miles to her home with Ami’s head implanted in the windshield of Sato’s car, police allege.
“I panicked and didn’t know what to do,” Sato allegedly told police about her decision to return home after the accident.
Police were alerted to the alleged hit-and-run incident by a acquaintance of Sato, whom the 23-year-old woman had called seeking advice, the Daily News said.
Police officers responding to the call found Ami, 80, dead as a result of injuries. The woman’s head reportedly was still implanted in the windshield of the vehicle when police arrived at the scene.
Found at UPI
I’m not sure if I am more amazed by the duck being so bad arse it doesn’t need medical treatment after suffering those injuries, or that the duck was actually able to refuse medical treatment.

Amazingly these people have water that you can light on fire.
The woman of the house is a bit of a freak though…
Millions of Moscow residents observed a unique cloud formation yesterday. Scientists from the city’s weather forecast service were quoted saying their was nothing special about the formation and it was just an ‘optical effect’.
I say they’re testing a secret weapon to take over the world.
Bikini model Serena Kozakura told a court her breasts were too large for her to fit through the hole
Miss Kozakura was convicted last year after a boyfriend said she had kicked in the wooden door of his room and crawled inside – because he was with another woman.

But in her defence the 38-year-old model told the Tokyo court that the man had made the hole himself before accusing her.
When she appealed this week her defence lawyer held up a plate showing the size of the hole and said she could not possibly have squeezed through it with her 43in bust.
“I agree,” said Tokyo High Court presiding judge Kunio Harada after casting his eyes over the model.
Via DailyMail.
Here you can see what can happen when a headline is cut between two pages in an inappropriate way.
In the first edition the article had the headline “Can Dec finally match Ant?” with word “finally” cut between two pages. They felt that there were too many headlines with word “finally” in, so it was changed to “Can Dec at last match Ant?”

Unfortunately whomever was in charge changed one page, but neglected to upgrade the second resulting in the following headline…
