Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull… What a crap fest this turned out to be.
I wouldn’t recommend it, but if you want to watch it don’t read on because there are plenty of spoilers ahead.
The Indiana Jones movies have always had a little bit of of the supernatural, but is mostly realistic otherwise. The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull goes way over the supernatural line and goes into the unrealistic, stupidly silly.
Here are some of the really stupid bits;
- Indy finds himself in the middle of a nuclear bomb test, so he hides in a fridge which is shot kilometres through the air during the explosion. Naturally he survives with no ill side effects
- All Russian soldiers have Stormtrooper Syndrome. They can shoot a hundred times at a person 5 metres in front of them and miss everything
- The kid, Mutt, swings Tarzan style with monkeys who then attack the Russians, seemingly because the monkey and Mutt have the same hairdo
- They fall down 3 massive waterfalls and do not get a scratch on them
- There are roads/clear driving paths in the middle on the Amazon
- It’s all about aliens… Yep aliens
Right from the get go the acting lets the movie down. The usually fine actress, Cate Blanchett, puts on an awful Russian accent and never looks comfortable in the role as the big baddie.
Karen Allen, Indy’s old girlfriend, couldn’t put on a believable performance to save her life. The chemistry between the two was non-existent.
Harrison Ford gave his one liners a little too slow to make them funny. But was fine apart from that.
It was frustrating to watch as Indiana Jones didn’t have a problem helping the bad guys do evil things, which goes against his character from the first three movies.
The only good thing about the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was the special effects, which were flawless except for the background at the very begining. The mushroom clouds and swirly rock tornado alien spaceship take off looked fantastic. But the swirly rock tornado alien spaceship take off, also made the story all the more ridiculous.
Overall they’ve just made a silly action comedy, that is as believable as George Bush winning a Nobel Peace Prize. They haven’t made and Indiana Jones movie.
If you loved the old Indiana Jones movies I doubt you will love this the same way. Save your money and don’t bother going to the movies or renting it. Wait for it to come on television.
see you