Just Whatever

According to Christian scripture, Jesus was nailed to a cross on Good Friday, ding as the soldiers below him gambled for his clothing. Once he passed away, he was put in a tomb, where he lay for three days until Sunday, whereupon he came out. When he came out, his hands showed the holes where he was nailed to the cross, and he prominently displayed these to his doubting disciples.

What is not commonly know, however, is whether he was alive or dead when he came out, just that he came out. While he very obviously died on the cross, the few people that Jesus brought back from the dead usually smelled (don’t ask me for a scripture quote). Since Jesus could not bring Jesus back (which would cause a paradox in the time-space continuum), Jesus could not actually be alive during this time. The only reasonable explanation: ZOMBIE JESUS!