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Why is Mr. T famous? Because he pities the fools and doesn’t put up with any jibba jabba!

Mr T Pities All Fools

For about ten years, Mr. T was a bodyguard to the stars, protecting such well-known personalities as Muhammad Ali, Steve McQueen, Michael Jackson, Bruce Lee, Joe Frazier, and Diana Ross. He charged around $3,000 a day and his business card famously read, “Next to God, there is no greater protector than I.”

During his stint as a doorman, he would take jewelry from disorderly people and wear it himself as a testament to how well he performed his job as a bouncer. At one point, his gold chains, rings, and bracelets were worth about $300,000.

In 1982 Mr. T was spotted by Sylvester Stallone while taking part in “The World’s Toughest Bouncer” contest with Lee Dittrich. His role in Rocky III was originally intended as just a few lines, but Stallone built up the part around the man. His catch phrase, “I pity the fool!” comes from the film, where he played a boxer facing Rocky Balboa in a match. When asked if he hated Rocky, he replied, “I don’t hate Balboa, but I pity the fool.”

In 1984 released a rap album titled Mr. T’s Commandments much in the same tone as his 1984 educational video which instructs children to stay in school and to stay away from drugs. Watch the music video for Treat Your Mother Right.

Lately Mr. T has been driving tanks for Snickers.

  • Mr. T and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside
  • Mr. T hates golf so much, he smacked half the black out of Tiger Woods
  • Mr. T is one part gold, two parts muscle, one part anger, and no parts jibba jabba
  • If you laid out all of Mr. T’s gold chains end to end, he would kick your sorry ass
  • Mr. T can eat a rubix cube and crap it out solved
  • Statistically speaking, you’re more likely to be pitied by Mr. T, than you are to have feet
  • While filming Rocky III, Mr. T punched Sylvester Stallone so hard Sly spoke clearly for a week
  • Satan sold his soul to Mr. T
  • Mr. T once won the Olympics. All of them
  • 96 percent of Americans believe that Mr. T still pities the fool

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3 Responses to “Mr. T Pities All Fools”

he’s the realest..lol I aslo checked out getsomenuts.tv.. & asked him ??? his replies were so funny man! Mr. T is classic

Comment by Quinten on May 9th, 2007

“ain’t none badder than T!” This guy was in the army as a military police officer, so handling guns and grenades was nothing new to him on Ateam. Sorry, but he never bodyguarded Bruce Lee, I’m pretty sure. I love that last list of jokes! Hilarious!!

Comment by Paul on January 29th, 2008

Link from WFTFT » Stories of Ale, #23 on July 29th, 2008

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