Just Whatever

Here are a few little know facts about the great Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.

Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.

If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

Chuck Norris invented water.

Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father.

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life there.

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn’t take shit from anybody.

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris’ shoe. Chuck replied, “Don’t you know who I am? I’m Chuck Norris!” The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.

Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion, now Neo is “The Two”

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There we no survivors.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris jumps out.

Aliens do exist. They’re just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

Chuck Norris does not “style” his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.